The Word of God says, "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord." Hebrews 12:14
"Let brotherly love continue." Hebrew 13:1
As things begin to unfold around us, it is imperative that the Saint of God obey the word of God as it relates to love. The believer can not afford to hate, talk unruly, be disrespectful, disorderly, etc. Yes, things may not be what one would want or expect, but a believer does not have the liberty to act out of order.
If you are a born again believer, the word of God is the guide for conduct. The love of the Lord must be the foundation for the way a believer treats others. What does the Bible say?
"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, pray for them which despite-fully use you, and persecute you." Matthew 5:44
"For if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?" Matthew 5:47 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love the. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners to receive as much again. But love ye your enemies and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again, and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest, for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil." St. Luke 6:32-35
"He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now." I John 2:9 "Let love be without dissumulation. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;" Romans 12:9-10
The Desires of Thy Heart
The Psalm says, “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalm 37:4
I started to think about this Psalm and how it relates to my life as I live it right now. What is the desire of my heart? What is it that the Lord has not already blessed me with? He has blessed me so until I cannot think of a desire my heart has. I am satisfied with all that He has entrusted me with, to be a steward over. I am satisfied and grateful for the life He has allowed me to live. So, what is my heart’s desire? If I had to answer right now, I would have to say, ‘I do not know’.
There is nothing I need. There is no place I am dying to see or visit. He has provided all of my needs according to His riches in glory. He has kept me and my children. He heals my body. He keeps my mind. He orders my steps and I follow His lead. He allowed me to work, successfully for over 40 years. Now I am retired and He is still meeting my needs. My children have never been sick (besides the common cold). My children have not suffered any injuries to their bodies. My mother and father are still alive and doing well. Both of them live independently and still drive. My siblings are all alive and doing well. What is my heart’s desire?
When I awake each morning, shower and dress, I begin a new day that was not promised to me. And, all through the day I feel the blessings of the Lord. Just to have peace of mind is a blessing too.
The car I drive, the closets full of cloths, food, shelter, health the love of my family and friends are all blessings in my life. My health is good, for which I am so grateful to the Lord for. I do not take any medication, I do not have health issues. I am just so grateful.
So, what are the desires of my heart?
I just do not know. I am blessed, and I know it. It is the Lord’s doing. So maybe now, it is time to give back to the Lord and His people. Maybe now, it is time to devote the rest of my life to the work of the Lord. This would mean I would need to seek Him for what He would have me to do. How can I be of help to others? How can I be of help to my community? What does His kingdom need? What can I do to help build the kingdom of God? Or as the scripture says, “what shall I render unto the Lord for all His benefits unto me? I will take the cup of salvation, and call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people.” Psalms 116:12-14
Well, I guess the scriptures had the answer for me all the time. But then He did say His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path (Psalms 119:105).
Spousal abuse is never acceptable. Marriage is a union of a man and a woman before. Both agree to love and cherish one another until death they do part. Therefore, there is no place in marriage for abuse. If there are unresolved issues, work on solving them. If there is pain from past relationships, work on getting healed. Do not take your pain out on your spouse. Marriage is honorable in the sight of God. Do not give the adversary place in it to destroy it. A vow was made in the front of God and witnesses. Seek help if you need it. Talk to your Pastor or an older couple that has history. Marriage takes work, but it should not include abuse.
Here are some warning signs of an abusive relationship.
1. push for quick involvement- pressures a woman for an exclusive commitment immediately.
2. jealousy - excessive possessive, calls constantly or visits unexpectedly, prevents girl friend from going to work because she might meet someone, checks the mileage on the car.
3. controlling- interrogates her intensely, insists that she ask permission to anywhere.
4. unrealistic expectations -expects her to be the perfect mate and meet his every need.
5. isolation- cuts here off from family and friends; deprives her of phone, car or job
6. blames others for problems and mistakes- someone else fault if anything goes wrong.
7. makes everyone else responsible for his feelings- "you make me angry, you're hurting me, you should make me happy.
8. hypersensitivity- easily insulted
9. cruelty to animals and to children
10. playful use of force during intimate times- finds it exciting
11. verbal abuse- constantly criticizes, sleep deprivation, relentless verbal abuse.
12. rigid roles- she should serve, obey, and remain at home, with little regard for her personal needs, wishes, rights or well being.
13. sudden mood swings- from sweetly loving to explosively violent.
14. excuses for past battering - says others made him do it, or situation brought it on.
15. threats of violence -next step is action.
16. physical abuse - includes hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing violently, forcible physical restraint, forced sexual activity. After an abuse incident, he typically apologizes and promises not to do it again, bu the cycle continues sooner or later. At this stage, he is highly unlikely to change his behavior unless there is drastic outside intervention and accountability.
Many times I have heard it said that the Church does not address domestic violence. This is not true. Seek help if any of the above apply to you.